


I Need You

by Badassium1970



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Fighting, Fluff, Guild Grumps, M/M, Panic Attack, Rubberbang - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-06-15
Packaged: 2018-07-15 05:55:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7210649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Badassium1970/pseuds/Badassium1970
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan's exhausted and it caused him to flip out at Ross.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Need You

Ross would not say that Guild Grumps was going well, all the other Grumps were losing focus and complaining a lot more than he expected them to. Everyone acted as if they hated him but he was sure it was all a joke. 

“I hate you, I don’t wanna do this, I wanna go home,” Arin mimicked Suzy, a smile on his face. He knew Arin didn’t mean it and neither did Suzy, she was just tired and frustrated at not being able to play the game. 

“Dan?” Ross asked his boyfriend hoping for some positivity yet he received none. 

Dan gave Ross a hateful, exhausted look that felt as if it burned through Ross’s skull. Ross shook it off, Dan had been working hard on music, he would probably be okay once they’d started. 

Ross was wrong, things did not improve, Dan was practically falling asleep at his computer and soon excused himself. When he came back he had a roll of paper towels. Everyone looked at him confused and concerned. 

“Guys, I’m really sorry, I love you all. I can’t do it anymore, I gotta throw in the towel,” Dan stated before throwing the kitchen roll towards his boyfriend’s desk and then sleepily apologising as Arin laughed. 

Ross tried to convince him to stay, telling him that they were planning to do a dungeon today, something he though Dan might enjoy. 

“That sounds awesome,” Dan commented but it was obvious that he didn’t really care. With the last of his energy he stole some of the bowls of candy, trying to keep up a light and playful mood for the cameras that seemed to be everywhere. 

“Dan we need one more person for the dungeon,” Ross called and Dan felt a little bad, this was Ross’s show after all, but he couldn’t take it anymore so he left, he had already called Brian asking for a ride home. 

Soon he heard footsteps behind him. 

“Dan wait,” he heard his boyfriend call, sadness in his voice. 

“Are you really leaving?” Ross’s voice was small and upset, but Dan couldn’t let himself give into the guilt.

“I’m sorry Ross, I just can’t do this anymore.”

“Are you sure, I promise I’ll help you, it’ll be fun I sw…” 

“Ross I’m fucking exhausted, I’ve been working on NSP and Starbomb stuff, I’ve barely gotten any sleep, I don’t have time for you or your stupid show!” Dan shouted not thinking about what he was saying. 

Ross felt as if he had been stabbed in the heart. Dan had only yelled at him a few times before, and every time he would apologise immediately for getting angry, something he hated doing but this time he seemed to show no remorse for what he said which was the worst thing he had ever said to his boyfriend. 

“Okay, I’m sorry, I’ll see you later,” Ross said trying not to show how upset he was. 

Dan left without saying a word, his mind too far gone from exhaustion to even realise what he had said or how much he had hurt Ross.

Normally before one of them left they would tell each other they loved each other and kiss, it had somehow become a tradition which hadn’t been broken until today. Ross wanted to, but he feared Dan wouldn’t say it back, wouldn’t kiss him again. He needed to get away before he ran after Dan and begged him to stay as he knew Dan would either stay which wouldn’t be good for him, or get even more annoyed and Ross didn’t think he could handle that. 

Ross went back to tell the Grumps that Dan wasn’t going to be returning. Everyone could see that Ross was upset and Barry even suggested they cancel filming anymore today but Ross disagreed with that since they had a deadline for the shooting. 

He called a friend to help with the dungeon and as they waited for him to arrive they Grumps recorded some of the in between interview parts. 

Ross had to explain that he was worried about Dan and say that he didn’t think his boyfriend would last much longer so his leave wouldn’t seem so sudden. Ross felt as if he was going to cry the whole time and he knew it would probably show but he couldn’t re-record it or he would cry. 

He was the last to record his interview parts and by the time he’d finished they were ready to record gameplay again. 

Ross’s heart wasn’t in it and his chest hurt, all he wanted was Dan to be by his side, telling him everything was going to be okay, just like he always did when Ross was upset.

The recording overall went okay, everyone still complained but they tried for Ross’s sake although at the end of the day Suzy let him know that she couldn’t do this anymore as it was frustrating her too much and she was getting really behind on making items for her shop. 

“I’m really, really sorry Ross, I swear I’ll make it up to you,” she apologised profusely, she felt terrible, especially since Dan had left and Ross was obviously hurt but it was better than her just not turning up. 

“It’s okay Suzy I understand,” Ross stated giving her a small smile, he couldn’t be mad at her. 

“Thanks for being so understanding, I’ll see you later,” Suzy said giving him a small, friendly peck on the cheek before leaving the Grump space with Arin. 

Soon Ross was the only one left at the Grump space, and he knew he had to get home but at the same time he knew that when he got to the apartment he would have to see Dan and Ross didn’t want to imagine how anything between them would turn out. Ross wondered if Dan moving in with him was a mistake, that they had moved to fast and now it was coming to bite him in the butt. 

Ross tried to take his mind off it, playing a bit of World of Warcraft as it normally helped take his mind of things but this time he had no such luck. As he was playing Dan’s words played in his head and Ross went into the settings menu as he looked at the option that enabled him to delete his account. He thought about it, getting rid of his account and cancelling the show but he knew he couldn’t, they had spent a lot of money to be able to do this. 

Ross closed down his computer and decided that it was too late to go home, which wasn’t true but he preferred to believe that instead of his reasons for not going home being anything to do with not wanting to see Dan just in case he’s still pissed off. 

Ross gathered some blankets and made a makeshift bed on one of the couches, the couch Dan normally sat on when on his laptop. When Ross breathed in he could smell Dan’s scent and he smiled. He noticed something peeking out from underneath the pillow he was laying on. Pulling the object out from under the cushion he found it was one of Dan’s beanies. Ross smiled, hugging the beanie as if it was a plushie. Ross remembered countless times Dan had gone to bed with that beanie on due to tiredness and Ross just didn’t have the heart to tell him, plus as much as he loved Dan’s hair it was nice to sleep without ending up with a load of fro in his face. 

Ross face fell when he thought about how Dan always seemed exhausted nowadays and once again Dan’s words invaded his head.

“I don’t have time for you!”

Ross let out a small sob. He wondered if Dan had gotten sick of him, and questioned Dan’s feelings for him. Did Dan love him anymore? What if he wanted to break up? Ross didn’t think he could take that, he loved Dan with every inch of his heart. 

Ross’s breathing became uneven and broken sobs came out frequently. He tried to stop crying, but reality was slipping away and all Ross could hear was Dan’s cruel words as his eyes became heavy. 

“Ross!” A panicked voice called out. 

The voice was unclear and as he felt a hand on his shoulder Ross hoped it was his boyfriend. 

“Dan,” he gasped out, all he could think about was Dan, he needed Dan. 

“Ross you’re gonna be okay,” the voice told him, holding him in his arms rocking him back and forth, calming him. 

As Ross’s began to come down from what he had figured out had been a panic attack he realised that the man holding him was not his boyfriend but Brian. Needless to say Ross was disappointed but he still found himself falling back into Brian’s chest for comfort. 

Brian held Ross for a while waiting for him to completely calm down. 

“Ross, you okay?” 

Ross nodded, but then shook his head, he wasn’t really sure. 

Brian let out a little laugh. 

“It’s alright Ross, I’m sure everything’s going to be fine,” Brian comforted unwrapping his arms from around Ross. The younger man moved so he was no longer cuddled into Brian, although he missed the reassuring feeling. 

“Thank you,” Ross croaked out. 

The two sat in uncomfortable silence for a while, both waiting for the other to start talking about the elephant in the room. 

“Dan told me what happened,” Brian began no longer willing to beat around the bush. 

Ross nodded, wiping tears away before they dried on his cheeks. 

“He’s really upset…” 

“If he’s so upset why didn’t he come!” Ross yelled in anger. He felt as if Dan didn’t care about him. 

“He was waiting for you to come home and fell asleep, I would have woken him up to come with me to check on you but he’s been so exhausted lately.”

“Ross I’m fucking exhausted!” Dan’s rage filled voice played in Ross’s ears again as he nodded. 

“Okay, I’m gonna stay home for the night, don’t wanna wake Dan y’know?” Ross let out a fake, uneasy laugh. 

“You sure you don’t want me to stay?” Brian questioned, he was worried about Ross and had taken to wanting to look after him, especially since he meant so much to Dan.

“Uh, I dunno man, I think I’ll be okay.” Ross wanted Brian to stay but at the same time he felt bad keeping him from his family. 

“I’ll stay for a couple of hours just to make sure,” Brian declared, if Ross got into that state again Brian feared he would end up hurting himself, and if he tried to go back to Dan he would probably have a car accident. 

Ross smiled as Brian turned on the T.V. and plugged in the D.V.D player, putting in some random anime that Arin had left before returning to sit next to Ross. 

A few episodes in and Ross became sleepy, he began to cuddle into Brian before remembering.

“Oh sorry, I thought you were…” Ross cut himself off, letting out a sad sigh. 

“It’s okay buddy, I understand. You know Dan loves you right?”

Ross nodded although he was unsure, the day’s events had made Ross question Dan’s love for him. 

A few more episodes and Ross was curled up on his side of the couch and his eyes were very heavy.

“Hey Ross, I just got a text, I have to go home, you gonna be alright?” 

Ross nodded sleepily, thanking Brian.

“Wait Bri?” Ross called and Brian stopped to let Ross continue. 

“Can you… can you not tell Dan about this… please?” 

Brian knew he should, but at the same time he couldn’t help but let Ross have his way, he just hoped Dan would grow a pair and apologise to Ross soon.

“It’s between you and me,” Brian promised before leaving. Ross barely noticed him leaving almost fast asleep before Brian had even left the room.

The next day Ross was awoken by the alarm he’d set on his phone. He quickly brushed his teeth after finding a pack of unused toothbrushes and a tube of toothpaste that they kept at the Grump space just in case anyone had to stay overnight. He had some deodorant in his bag which he applied liberally due to his lack of ability to change clothing.   
Soon the crew and the other Grumps came in, apart from Dan who no longer needed to come in as well as Suzy.

Filming went well but Ross’s heart still wasn’t completely in it. He had brought one of his best friends Holly in to help keep the good vibes up, but when the remaining Grumps where having more fun due to Holly’s suggestions of what to do Ross felt completely incompetent but he kept up a happy yet slightly frustrated facade for the cameras.   
At the end of the day Ross didn’t want to go home but he knew he needed to. He decided to take the longer way home even though it was getting dark, he wished he’d gone home the previous night and wondered if it would have been better if he had. 

“Hey Dan? I’m home,” Ross called after closing the door behind him, his voice nervous. 

There was no reply to Ross’s call so he looked around the house finding his boyfriend in their bedroom, turned towards the window, back to Ross when he walked in.  
Ross admired his boyfriend, his hair slightly pushed down due to the headphones he was wearing. He was obviously working on music and Ross could imagine Dan looking out the window waiting for inspiration to hit. He was wearing his glasses which he didn’t do often but Ross appreciated when he did as they made Dan look even cuter.   
Ross thought about asking Dan if he needed anything, he often forgot to eat or drink when he was working hard on things. 

As Ross reached out to touch Dan’s shoulder to get his attention when a loud voice in his head caused him to pull his hand back as if Dan was made out of fire and Ross had just realised he would get burnt if he hurt him. 

“I don’t have time for you!” Dan’s voice boomed causing Ross to quickly leave the room, his eyes rimmed with tears as he made his way to the spare bedroom, he would sleep there tonight. 

As soon as Ross left and Dan was sure the younger man was out of earshot he let out a loud sigh. He’d seen Ross’s reflection in the window. He had seen the hurt in Ross’s eyes before he left and knew he’d caused that. The way Ross had been looking at him before that was a look that Dan missed even if it had only been less than two days without it. Although he knew going after Ross was what he should do he couldn’t make himself, he was scared. What if he got angry again? The words he had last spoken to his boyfriend had been ringing in his head ever since he realised what he’d said a few minutes after getting into Brian’s car. He’d promptly burst into tears. Brian pulled over immediately calming his best friend down enough to find out what had happened. They worked on music to take Dan’s mind off it for a while, but the whole time he was just waiting for Ross to come home but exhaustion hit him and when he woke the next day he had a text from Brian letting him know that Ross had stayed at the Grump space. Dan felt terrible, he had caused this mess and he didn’t know what to do, so he just kept working on music, waiting for Ross to come to him first, for Ross to ask if they’re okay, because he missed him so much right now. 

The bed in the spare room was not that comfortable, as Ross found out, or maybe it was but Ross was so used to the bed he and Dan shared, he was used to someone sleeping next to him. Ross hoped that Dan would check on him. Ross waited, and soon it was 5 a.m. and Ross began to fall into a deep sleep almost stopping himself, however, he knew that he had to wake up early the next day and he hadn’t sleep well on the couch the previous night.

Filming the last episode of Guild Grumps went well although Ross had to admit he was so tired he barely remembered anything that happened apart from it was fun and made him forget about everything that was going on with Dan, but his presence quickly became missed by Ross again as everyone strung up some dollar store decorations Suzy had arrived with and poured some drinks, alcoholic and non-alcoholic, to celebrate. 

Barry noticed that Ross seemed upset and had become withdrawn from everyone else. 

“Hey buddy, you okay?” 

Ross shook his head; he could feel a lump in his throat. 

Worried, Barry took Ross into the room they recorded in for some privacy. 

“So I’m guessing this is to do with Dan?” Barry didn’t see the point in small talk, everyone had been dodging asking Ross any questions about what had happened or how things were going between the two in case it upset Ross more. Barry didn’t think this was a great idea but agreed none the less but know he couldn’t ignore how distraught Ross was, he wanted his friend back to normal.

Ross let out a short sigh as he ran a hand through his hair. 

“I… I can’t do this anymore,” Ross whispered. 

“What do you mean?” He questioned. 

“I, I love Dan but I don’t think he feels the same way anymore and I can’t deal with it.”

Barry hugged the younger man as he began to silently cry. 

“Barry… if he breaks up with me… can I… I don’t think I can live alone…”

Ross began to sob, the broken sounds felt as if they were stabbing Barry’s heart, he hated seeing any of his friends so upset. He made Ross lay down and got him cuddled under the blankets that Ross had forgotten to put away, and no one else had as the room hadn’t been used due to recording Guild Grumps. After Ross had calmed down Barry excused himself, making it clear that he would be back in a few minutes, he just wanted to let the others know that they would be away for a while.

After leaving Barry pulled out his phone and called Dan.

“Hello?” Dan still sounded exhausted and there was a sadness to his tone. 

“Dan you need to get to the Grump space, now!” Barry stated. 

“Barry I’m in the middle of mixing a track, besides I left the show, what’s the point?” Dan’s excuses were lame but he couldn’t admit that he didn’t want to face Ross, knowing seeing him would built up more guilt that was eating him alive, he feared he had gone way too far and wouldn’t be able to save his relationship.

“What’s the point? The point is that Ross is fucking distraught and was just crying his eyes out because he thinks you don’t love him anymore! He just asked if he could move in with me if you guys break up because he doesn’t want to be alone!” Barry yelled down the phone and Dan was terrified, it was very rare that Barry got angry and Dan had never heard him that angry. 

“What, Barry that’s not true, you know that’s not true, I love Ross,” Dan established, panic filled his voice along with guilt, he couldn’t believe he had hurt Ross this much. 

“I’m not the one you should be telling,” Barry commented before hanging up and heading back into the recording room.

Ross had ended up cuddled up to Barry after crying again. They hadn’t spoken much, Barry just silently comforted him as he watched the clock tick down. Ross felt safe but he still longed for Dan.

As if the universe had heard his longing the door of the recording room burst open to show Dan, panting due to running up to the Grump space. 

Ross looked up and then immediately hid his head in Barry’s chest after seeing Dan. He was afraid, Dan didn’t look angry but he might be, he was also scared that Dan no longer loved him and wasn’t going to hold him and tell him everything was going to be alright. 

“Ross, please,” Dan choked out walking to the couch and kneeling down so he could play with Ross’s hair. Barry began to feel uncomfortable, but he had no way of leaving which Ross clinging onto him. 

Ross melted into Dan’s touch, he had missed it so much. Soon he removed his tear stained face from Barry and detached himself from the younger man who then excused himself going back to the party that seemed to have stopped, when he wasn’t sure but he guessed it was when Dan arrived. 

Inside the recording space Dan was still kneeling on the floor playing with Ross’s hair as Ross tried to avoid looking at him, neither of them wanted to be the first to speak but Dan knew they couldn’t go on like this. 

“Ross, I’m really sorry,” Dan’s voice was soft and filled with regret. 

Ross was silent for the most part, small sobbing noises came out every now and again making Dan feel even worse every time.

“Ross please, talk to me, I didn’t mean what I said, I was exhausted, I didn’t even know I’d said it until I was halfway home, I wanted to apologise but I was scared that I might have ruined everything.” 

Ross finally looked towards his boyfriend, his eyes were so red from crying, and it was obvious he hadn’t been sleeping.

“Dan, you didn’t ruin anything, it’s my fault, I kept pushing you, I didn’t even realise how bad you’d gotten… I’d understand if you wanted to break up, I’m a terrible boyfriend, I’m annoying, I …”

Before Ross could carry on Dan’s lips were on his, hushing him. Dan could taste tears and maybe snot but he didn’t care, he needed Ross to know he loved him, he needed Ross so bad right now. 

“Ross you are the best boyfriend I could hope for; I love you so much please believe me.”

Ross slowly nodded but he still looked sceptical. 

“Please, Ross, I love you so much, I know what I said was terrible, I know I should have said something sooner, I know it may not have seemed like it at the time but I love you.”

Dan was desperate, he couldn’t lose Ross, he had never loved someone so much, he had always been so scared of commitment but know everything he said felt so natural. 

“Ross I need you in my life, I want you to come with me to meet my parents on thanksgiving or Hanukkah and I want to meet yours, I want to make a good impression, show them what I’m like when I’m not on the show. I want to celebrate the holidays together. I want to wake up next to you every morning because these past few nights have been terrible without you next to me. Ross I love you.”

Dan didn’t even realise tears were streaming down his face until he’d finished speaking and Ross wiped them away. 

“I love you too Dan, so much,” was all Ross got to say before Dan practically jumped on the couch kissing him several times, short, wet, pecks that made Ross laugh. Then Dan’s lips were on his again, kissing him slow and soft, not wanting to stop in case he lost Ross again. 

“Did you really mean what you said, about meeting each other’s parents?” Ross questioned when they broke apart for air. 

Dan smiled at the fact that the idea of meeting Ross’s parents didn’t scare him, and Ross meeting his parents properly didn’t scare him either. 

“Of course I did Ross, I love you, I want your parents to approve of me, and my family have been begging me to bring you over again now that we’re dating.” 

Ross smiled, giving Dan a short kiss on the lips before replying.

“My parents already love you,” he smiled. 

“How? They’ve only heard me on the show.” 

“They love you because you make me happy.” 

The two made out for a while, slow and sweet before feeling tired. The party was still going on outside but they seemed to have forgotten all about it as they removed their jeans and cuddle under the blankets both asleep within minutes. It was the best sleep Dan had gotten in a long time and Ross didn’t even complain when he woke up to a face full of hair.


End file.
